Turning The Tables

Spilling The Cosmic Beans

I am reminded of a question I want to ask you humans. We have “jail,” so to speak, as I just I mentioned with Yiblee from Area 51 fame. However, I don’t understand your justice system.

Am I right that a known criminal can get out of jail early, or not go to jail at all, if someone called a lawyer can convince others that the criminal isn’t that bad? Is that right? If I rob a bank, say, and get caught… I can go free if I know a good enough lawyer? What does this do for anybody?

Here’s another one. Why do you keep lists of sexual offenders? I’ve seen the list. One day I hovered very closely over the post office in Hays, Kansas (what else am I gonna do in Hays, Kansas?) and I saw through the window a poster. On this poster was a list of sexual offenders. Why were these offenders not in jail? Or under it? It even said right on the poster, “Likely to repeat…” Likely to repeat??!! Why give them the chance?

Having observed civilizations throughout the centuries, I can tell you unequivocally that the best, most orderly societies punished lawbreakers. It was the right thing to do. Who cares if the jails are full? Build more jails. If I have a giant cage in my backyard full of lions, I’m not going to let some out just because it’s full. I’ll build another cage, I will.

No one has answered me this yet. I can wait. Next time I want to ask about your immigration problem.